


The blame game

by ArbusVanPoe



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Star Trek: Into Darkness, everyone blames themselves yaaaaaaaay, skirk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1323745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArbusVanPoe/pseuds/ArbusVanPoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have the belief that everyone blames themselves for the events of STID.<br/>I feel like the Kirk/Scotty fandom needed some more fics and angst.<br/>I just bought the soundtrack to both reboots to obvi i was in the mood for angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The blame game

                “Jim…” Scotty fell to his knees pressing his forehead to the glass, his brain replaying all that had happened; he could still see the smudges where Jim and Spock’s hands had tried to touch. They now knew he was going to be okay, Leonard had said so right? But the pit in his stomach sat. This was his fault after all, if had been more assertive, if he had checked the core like he was planning on doing before he stormed out, if he had just sucked it up and stayed… if hadn’t been stupid, he should have expected that blow to the head, should have blocked it, should have done it first but he was just so keyed up. His lady was falling through the sky. He pounded his forehead against the glass fighting the lump rising in his throat but suddenly he was sobbing, letting his own hand drag down, the slight squeak only startling him a little. A captain shouldn’t die because his crew let him down, and as his lover he should have protected him better. He needed to pull himself together, the repair crew would be back soon, and he was supposed to be leading them, not blubbering on the floor like the sad broken man he was.

                “Meester Scott!! Meester Scott!!” He jumped to his feet turning as he heard the little Russian pounding down the catwalk towards him. “Meester Scotty, ve could not reach you, he is awake!”

                “He’s awake?” Scotty’s heart began to pound.

                “Yes sir, and he is asking for you!” Pavel slammed into him hugging him tightly. “He’s okay Meester Scott!” Scotty let out a chuckle of relief and hugged him back.

                “He’s okay,” Scotty nodded. “And asking for me?”

                “Yes sir! Come on let us go! I ran all the way here!” He released the Engineer only to take his hand and pull him back towards the transport room excitedly.

 

Pavel had left him to it, saying he should go in alone, but the big baby in him wanted to pull the little blonde teddy bear close and use him as a shield for the reaming he was probably about to get from the Doctor, or the bodily harm he’d probably receive from the Vulcan, neither one sounded more pleasant but he took a deep breath, because his Mam did not raise a coward, and squared his shoulders stepping in, to find the room to be empty save the Captain, who smiled at him stupidly.

                “Well hello there beautiful, you are the best thing to walk through those doors so far,” Scotty swallowed, his eyes burning, he couldn’t take another step in, the door sliding shut behind him almost catching his shirt. Jim’s smile dropped a little, and he tilted his head. “Scotty?” Sobs suddenly erupted from the Scotsman’s lips, it sounded so parallel to the Captain’s calls for him, after they had both regained consciousness. Same as before, he found himself frozen and staring, unable to go to the man, only this time he couldn’t call Spock, this time he had to face things. “I’m okay Monty, look at me, I’m okay.”

                “No Jim, no yer not!” He covered his mouth trying to calm his heaving chest. “Yer not okay, I watched you die! I let you die!”

                “No! No you didn’t! Stop that, please, just come here, let me… let me touch you, please Montgomery…” He couldn’t deny the man this, he wasn’t strong enough to leave him in more capable hands. Anyone other than him could have saved Jim, but… He took another deep breath wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve in a way Jim found completely endearing, and crossed over to Jim’s bed. He moved fast grabbing fistfuls of Scotty’s shirt before he could step back again and pulled him down with all the strength he could muster. He wrapped his arms tightly around his back, breathing in the smell of grease, and electricity, and a scent all Scotty Jim clung tighter, needing Scotty to hug him back. “I’m sorry I did this to you, I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips to Scotty’s cheek and finally Scotty softened hugging him back, his heart hammering, but his brain switching over, clicking back into place, everything coming into perspective.

                “Bloody right yer sorry,” he tried to put as much of his usual sass as he could into it but it fell a little short. Jim didn’t fault him for trying, only kissed his cheek once more, firm and sloppy, over and over until his stubborn boyfriend turned and met his lips, fisting his hospital gown tightly to keep him in place as he forced his tongue into Jim’s mouth with a sense of urgency he had refused to acknowledge for past two weeks. Jim moaned, letting it happen, needing it to happen, because he knew the things unsaid between them was not yet resolved, knew that Scotty would have a lot of anger towards him, same as Bones, and Uhura, Spock, Sulu, Chekov, those that loved him so desperately, that had to see him lifeless on a slab, he owed them all apologies, but for now, he just needed this, he just needed his Chief Engineer, his lover, one of his best friends, he needed him just as much as everyone else needed their Captain if maybe not more.

                “Dammit man! Glad to see nothin’s changed with yer God Damn libido!” McCoy grumbled as he strolled into the room. Scotty tried to pull away, a blush creeping up his neck but Jim held onto him tightly.

                “I’m taking it upon my person to self-medicate since my doctor seems to suck at giving me what I need.” Jim shot back forcing Scotty back down.

                “I did not go to medical school to be your boy toy Jim, I went to be a doctor!” Was the last thing they heard the Doctor grumble before storming out.


End file.
